Why failure is good for you Metro Illustrations (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)
(Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)

If you’re one of the 14 million subscribers to the FailArmy YouTube channel then you’re probably already aboard the Failure is Awesome boat, but for a totally different reason.

I’m not here to poke fun at failures with a 10-minute compilation made up of clumsy skateboarders and weak trampolines.

No, I’m here to celebrate failure and tell you that the concept itself has been grossly misunderstood.

Today, 17 January, is officially known as Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day, that fateful day that we all knew was coming.

It’s the day where we are, apparently, most likely to fail the self-imposed challenges that we set ourselves on the first day of the year.

A mere sixteen days after millions of us vowed to go vegan, many of us will sneak off to eat a kebab in the car park.

Those of us who gave up booze will indulge in a midweek wine to see us through to Friday, and many of us once-eager gym bunnies will sack off that Step class in favour of somewhere more comfortable, like the sofa, or a McDonald’s drive-thru.

But what if instead of seeing this failure as a negative outcome, we realised that it’s actually a small step in the right direction?

As teenagers, the idea of failing at school was a fate worse than death.

We were told that working hard and getting excellent grades was our one and only route to a successful career, but studies show that this isn’t always the case.

In a 2012 TEDx Talk, Eduardo Zanatta explained that most successful people achieve what they desire through sheer persistence.

He says that failure is a ‘fundamental part of success’ and that too often people quit early because they see failure as a sign that they are unqualified or incapable.

On the contrary, psychological studies show that the brain has the ability to react positively in response to a failed task.

In one study, doctors were observed when making decisions about which medications to prescribe. Psychology Today reported that in the experiment some doctors showed a response dubbed as a ‘wake up call’, where the brain actively focused on the negative outcome of failure and then analysed the situation to find an appropriate solution.

In this instance, doctors paid more attention during the next decision making process and were more likely to learn from the mistake and improve their performance.

According to a Forbes article written by leadership expert Glenn Llopis, failure is also a practical tool for improving your own skillset.

He claims that failure offered him the most rewarding opportunities of his career and continues to be a ‘powerful source for know-how and understanding’.

How being unable to decorate the places we live is affecting us Metro illustrations (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)
(Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)

Failure forces us to think outside the box, makes us re-evaluate our approach to the task at hand, learn about ourselves and highlights where there may be room for improvement.

Glenn says the key is to act quickly, using our bruised ego as momentum to propel ourselves forward with gumption.

‘Quickly create a plan of action while the pain you experienced is fresh and begin to outline how the key learnings from the failure can be used in different situations,’ he writes. ‘Allow failure to make you stronger and wiser.’

The people who we deem as successful have generally failed more than the rest.

Katy Perry, for example, sold only 200 copies of her first album and was later dropped by two record labels. Her hit single I Kissed a Girl didn’t make its mark until nearly a decade later.

As many of you sit at your desks today eating spoonfuls of Nutella straight out of the jar, you may not feel like Katy Perry. You may be staring wistfully into the distance wondering where it all went wrong. When did you become so weak?

But that’s where you’re wrong. Failure has the potential to make you stronger in the long run.

Therapist Sally Baker tells us that children especially will benefit from exposure to minor defeats, and when these experiences are absent they are likely to struggle as an adult.

‘The unprecedented rise in mental ill-health among undergraduate students is a result of young people not being allowed to experience failure while growing up,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Many young people don’t manage to build up their resilience and therefore see themselves as unable to overcome adversity and thrive.

‘They have never been allowed to learn that it is okay to metaphorically fall down as an opportunity to experience getting back up again, dusting yourself off and getting on with one’s life.’

So how to we undo this fear of failure?

now that summer is over, it's harder to harness that spring
(Picture: Ella Byworth/Metro.co.uk)

How can we get comfortable with being uncomfortable, or, as the saying goes, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway?’

Chartered Psychologist Suzy Reading reinforces the idea that self-love (this is cheesy I know, but stay with me) is the best place to start.

Think about it.

It’s not actually the failure that upsets us, it’s the fact that we see the failure as a reflection on us as a human being.

I ate a biscuit, I’m so greedy!

I missed the gym, I’m so lazy!

Sound familiar?

Suzy counteracts this inner critic by teaching mindfulness and self-compassion to her clients who have a deep-rooted fear of failure.

‘With mindfulness, we acknowledge that failure is an inevitable part of life. It’s OK!’ says Suzy.

‘It is not evidence of us lacking as human beings…. Embracing compassion and kindness allows us to bloom and grow in the aftermath of failure.’

Asking yourself a few key questions e.g. Was this solely my fault or were there other external factors at play? What strengths did I use? Is this just a setback? post-failure should offer an opportunity for growth, as well as a chance to work on your personal willpower.

We need brain power to exert the self-control that allows us to keep our resolutions going, so if you’re under more stress than usual (lack of sleep, aching muscles, restricting calories) you simply won’t have the energy needed to stay focused.

Take baby steps. Give yourself a break.

And if you’re still beating yourself up just channel your inner Beyoncé, who once said: ‘I embrace mistakes. They make you who you are.’

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